nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
