we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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