meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
