yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
my liver is dry heaving
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
