Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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