Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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