Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize