My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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