what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
