Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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