capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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