somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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