You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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