I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
