I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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