Barsexuality is the new black.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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