Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
