You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
