the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
