your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
