I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
