so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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