I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
this just has baby written all over it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
