How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
