Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What a dumb baby whore.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
