I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
