yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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