Me too!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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