If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
