who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
