got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
