hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
