Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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