Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
