i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
