It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
