Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just pee around me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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