at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
