Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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