im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we made out on top of his cat.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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