I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
