pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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