Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
