I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
