Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I will pee on everything he values.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
