So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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