therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just had sex bonerless
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
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