my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no. you can't hotbox the world.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
