The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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