how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the condom got lost in my hair
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
