Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
