I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
