I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
