no, he came in my armpit
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
