I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
