Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
