i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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