I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
