My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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