Dual....:-)
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
