i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So many bounce houses so little time
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize