Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
