yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
