I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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