Will you blow on my dice?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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