Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
