I think I am morally bankrupt
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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