Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
