I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
there is puke in my bra ... again
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize