i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
